My brother
by Lestrane
Summary: Drabbles telling about Winchesters' relationships. Mostly Dean's feelings and point of view
1. Entry

Sometimes there is not much needed for quarrel to happen. It can be an inaccurate word or a simple misunderstanding that will bring up something from the past, forcing people to point at each other's mistakes simply to justify themselves. But it requires much more to bring peace. It can be simple "Sorry" that will take a lot of courage from someone to say or something else to apologize. Dean always picks "something else". And he always knows what it will be by the very moment he's crossed the line with Sammy. As Dean is not good with words in general he will do something that does not require ones. Normally, it would be a prank. To show that everything is moving on and that they are still family, no matter what. But if it was something serious like when Dean says something extremely hurtful to his brother and gains sad and silent look as a respond he will have to put some more efforts. It must be something really special. Or not really special but valuable that will show how sorry Dean is.


	2. Night

Catching clear night while driving somewhere is rather rare thing to happen, so Dean would welcome a chance. A long trip would make Sam fallen asleep, so Dean would pull over. Sam never sleeps much while in car so he would rise sometime after and see Dean outside. He would go out from car, stand near his brother and grab an offered beer. And then they would say two words that would mean that they will never let anything separate them, that they can't even imagine life without each other.

"Bitch"

"Jerk"

And they would be gazing into sky for like an eternity without saying a word.


	3. Rare occasion

Sometimes Dean feels like he has to comfort himself rather than his brother. So on a very rare occasion he would tell Sam what he really feels about everything. In a pretty peculiar way though. Once he checked if Sammy is asleep Dean would talk to him. Words unheard are words unspoken after all.

"I know that you don't hear me, I wouldn't say this stuff if you could but… I just feel like you don't need me while I do need you. I know that it is not what you wanted, believe me, and it's very selfish to want you to stay with me, but you have to understand me: I don't want to be alone. It's only you and me now and if I lose you… I don't know what I will do. I… love you Sammy. And I wish I didn't drag you back in all this crap in the first place... Sleep well."

And Dean, of course, will never find out why in the next few days Sam will be obedient and calm about all Dean's decisions…


	4. Necklace

Sometimes your own emotions make you doing things so stupid, you regret it for a very long time, maybe even for your whole life. For Dean, one of those was throwing out the necklace his brother gave him long time ago right in front of Sam. He felt so angry and hurt at that moment. While all Dean wanted was being with his brother, his brother's dream were all about getting a rid of family. He only wished to have someone at his side not to feel alone and yet Sam makes the distance between them farer and farer. He was dedicated to hurt Sam just as much. And now one of the most treasured Dean's possessions lies somewhere in a junkyard, abandoned but not forgotten. Dean can't help it but remember everything in every detail. He now feels a hole in his chest, something important missing. He feels unguarded. And guilty. And stupid. All those excuses and justifications he made up for that move couldn't let him forgive himself. Even though Sammy never blamed it on him, seeing his own fault.


	5. I will pray for you

When Sam left his family, the last thing he wanted was losing Dean completely. Despite his utter hatred for their lifestyle, Dean never meant it for him. He meant just the opposite, something from normal family would do: support. No matter what happens, no matter how long dad is gone or how far he gone drunk Dean would always be there to comfort his little brother. Once Sam left, he swore never to return back. And yet he couldn't leave his brother. Not mentally at least. This is when Sam started praying. He prayed for his brother every day and night. He decided to be helping in only way he thought he could. And so Sam stuck in the middle, unable to return and unable to let it go, trying to live normal and taking care of his big brother. He was waiting for something to happen, but not truly living his life. That was until Dean came along. That's where Sam started to live again.


End file.
